additional notes on shadow work

shadows…

…are parts of us we don’t want to own, and put on to others,
 projecting our hidden parts of ourselves so we can see them...
                     ...as so others reflect these parts back to us

we can remember that these are our parts,
             our reflections in the mirror of life…
               we can own our projections - we can recognise them
                               as ourselves
               we can accept them, and realise their qualities,
                   and integrate them as ourselves...

  our greatness often reflects in others
as we project our greatest qualities onto them…
   some call these 'light shadows'
and we can accept and integrate into us too

 embracing shadows…
  frees our light     allows us to become authentic
           and healing happens in the heart

 what we have hidden in our shadows
      are resources for us
     when used in situations where these qualities can be beneficial

   we can find and explore these repressed feeling parts
           and revel in the wonder-fullness that is our self
   ..................................................................
 we may often see the world through the lenses of our shadows……
judging people by
       the hidden parts of us that we are projecting onto them
..........................................................................
shadows
 are often created by repressed feelings
   and by the characteristics
that didn't fit the persona that we have created for ourselves

   maybe we may even think 'something is wrong with me'?
  or 'i don’t fit into family/peers'
well, it’s all shadow.
      and we can bring it out of the shadow, into the light……
           back into more full ourselves
            and then we can be full of ourselves :)
(and for those that criticise others for being 'full of themselves',
             well who else are we supposed to be 'full of'! ; )
...................................................................
we may even unconsciously create enemies
   in our personal lives, and in wider society too
    that allow us to see
 our personal work that is to be done inside...

  and then we can make friends with enemies within
          integrate these hidden parts
     that we have been projecting and judging so harshly
 and though we may hesitate
      the benefits outweigh any small work that is to be done
 to integrate these parts back to our sense of selves....
............................................
- so if there’s something out there in someone you really don’t like,
          you can consider if it is part of you
(for example, is the war just out there,
or actually is the war inside us? have we have projected it out?
 can we all stop projecting this part,
        can we stop it in us and in the world it may then cease?)
....................................................................
 they say we are blessed to be able to do this work-
 while some dance the survival dance……hand to mouth living…
and make do……
  we're lucky to have already discovered the resources,
                          techniques to do our shadow work,
                    our personal work
   we can notice
and realise
  how these shadows have gathered
along the way

when we are born we are a bubble of energy
          complete and whole
  we know what we want
      we be who we are
  without restricting ourselves

as we grow up
 we  have been taught that some things aren’t acceptable

  and if we are accepting these teachings,
         this changes us
    we change us
          ...often it is so we can try to be loved

  so many of us found that if we wanted to be loved by our family
(and also too perhaps with friends, teachers, and other relations)
    we felt we had to put parts of ourselves away
   it is like we put these parts of ourselves into a little black bag….
for our desire to be loved…
 these parts that we thought would make us unlovable,
    we hid them away, from the world and ourselves,
             but still carrying them around each day,
        carefully hidden away...
 so well hidden we may have no idea they are there...

  we hid these parts of ourselves
             maybe for
            our desire to be loved
              to be respected,
      to be accepted by those who may have
judged harshly our behaviours,
         to receive the kind of attention we love,
       to 'fit in'
           to not be 'hurt'
                or 'punished'
             or 'criticised,
             and/or other reasons...
and
   anything we were told we were bad at
maybe that too, went into our little black bag
the mind thinking, if not 'good' at it,
           then we should not do it all...
 ....even when we wish to do so, ever so much,
          we may stop ourselves
    and in doing so
not giving ourselves opportunity
       to practice and improve our skills...
    for fear of being hurt again....

.................
 and we put into these 'little black bags'
   ...our loudness perhaps?
                   when we are told that we are too noisy
or maybe our curiosity?
                    when we are told that we are too nosy
   our musicality? if we are told we 'can't sing'
our intelligence?
    if we see others being criticised for being too 'brainy'

and in doing so     
  often our self confidence too...
 and so much of our fully lively energy....
    all to be loved and to fit in?

..............
but
   if we put half of ourselves into a little black bag
     we are denying ourselves
denying qualities of ourselves
        that in certain situations can be useful tools in our lives,
     and we are putting so much of our potential,
 so much of our energies into that bag
 that we can find ourselves lacking out vital energy

and we may label ourselves (or be labelled)
 limiting our potential of what we can be
and
    if we put away our loudness
  – maybe we became only ‘shy’...
    if we put away our curiosity
- maybe we stop asking questions...
    if we put away our intuition
 - maybe we become unable to listen to ourselves...
    if we put away our self confidence,
 maybe we becomes so unconfident
         it stops us achieving our dreams and true potential...

 resulting in other people shaping our lives,
from such a young age and onwards,

   through our wish to be loved and respected,
                        and through our fear of being hurt……
.....................................
in TV we see it too
‘you’re not good enough’ – 'you’re fired',
‘you’re not good enough’ 'you’re out of here' 'evicted'
 ................................................................
(what it is to step out of the need to be loved!)
.....................................................
  hiding these parts can be also from the mind thinking
       'i have to be perfect'; so
anything that is not perfect has to go
        into my 'shadow' , into my 'little black bag'
perhaps
     thinking we
          'have' to be 'nice',
 so anything that’s not 'nice' goes into the little black bag
and
  it can happen if we are labelled,
and we identify with those labels in the way that
if we are labelled or 'good' (or 'bad')
we may take that as that being all we are,
 so that anything else that isn't 'good' (or 'bad') into our black bag,
taking away essential parts of ourselves

 and so often as kids we're told
 'don't be' this
   'don't be'that
 and 'this' and 'that' may then we unconsciously think,
 have to be hidden in the shadow, in our 'black bag'
  they might as well as just 'don't be'!
 ........................
and it can vary so much between us all
in some families intelligence is all,
....and stupidity/mistakes put in the black bag,
in some families intelligence isn’t honoured,
    and to be intelligent gains disapproval,
..and so intelligence is put in the black bag
in class the kids may pretend not to understand the work,
hiding their intelligence in the black bag of shadow.....
.............................................
sometimes it is our light shadows that are being put out bit by bit
to deliver it into our bags and putting in our magnificence
....................................................
and over  time
our life-force is put into that little black bag…..
...maybe even til we’re just a slither of our former self
not knowing who we are
and it takes so much energy to keep it in
and when we’re not paying attention….
it comes out!
and it may feel that it wasn’t us, that a 'devil made us do it'…
in that moment where we lost control..
   but here too, we can notice this and find our shadow piece
 and its gift
 ............................
and what happens to the stuff in the little black bag?
       well that stuff is you -
it doesn’t wish to be apart from  you
     and gradually the stuff in the black bag begins  to seep through
begins to sweep through as steep torrents, of gusts of wind
and maybe we walk through life
          hoping that no-one can see what’s in our little black bag,
         but it stays with us, following us,
then the stuff in the bag begins to inform us from behind
(and there are famous cases of honourable and respected people
 doing something that seems so out of character
 – 'the beach ball effect'
trying to hold that beach ball (our shadows)
                         under the water for so long,
 it will soon bounce out of the water,
(and probably hit us, or someone else in the face ;)
..................................................
and the more stuff we put in the shadow
        the less energy we have
soon we’re on the floor with no energy
           our energy? it is in the black bag –
and spending so much energy trying to keep in
         is exhausting – it can make us sick
 however
  we can bring it out again
   we can reclaim ourselves
   we can put our hands in the 'bag'
     (and at it may at times feel gross
             it may not feel very nice
                     ych y fi
                        but
     that is short lived
     it is so worth it, to  get it!
    to  get back the creativity, the passion of who you are…..
     it’s your true gold, it’s who you are : )
...................
           it does take some work
     though the techniques can take a relatively short amount of time,
 once the motivation  to the work is there

  and we don't do it,
       so much of our beauty, our magnificence is
hiding within the shadow of the black bag

 and if we do this work
      we can gain so much
   we can be more fully, more authentically, more originally  ourselves
    we can regain our energies
we can
 walk thru the world with no need to cast our 'shadows' onto others

and we can choose when we use (or not) these characteristics,
 these qualities,
rather than pop out uncalled for...
 .........................
some say
 that
shadow work is a true alchemy – shadow work is finding true gold
          the true gold that is yourself
.........................
 there is a saying
‘I’d rather be whole than perfect’

and we can release the need to be perfect,
   and we can become more whole...
..........................................
some of us have even felt as if there is a hole in us somehow
and try and fill it with shopping, drugs
or other temporary distractions...
 and some of us find that hole can be filled....with reintegrating
   these 'shadow pieces' back into ourselves...
 ................................
and yes, there may be fear in letting go
      what we’re trying to hide
but the fear is in the mind,
in the madness that is the mind as it can be
   and we can utilise the mind instead to be a tool
   to assist us in our finding and integrating
                                   these parts of ourselves...
..............
and even if there’s bits in us that we don’t want to behave that way
(especially in certain situations)
we can still own it, we can accept it, and we can even appreciate it –
     and this gives us the ability
  to choose to behave or not to behave in that way if that is our wish
 rather than it just jumping out of us when we 'lose control'
      often when we least expect it..
  it gives us the choice...
      the choice of roles, personas, characteristics to utilise
           in certain situations...

and in our acceptance
 we are letting it out of the black bag
and in our owning it
      it needs not leap out seep out of the black bag and into
              our unconscious behaviour
whenever we are not on the ball

   as it is in the light
part of us.
   and if it’s not embraced,
we will be projecting it everywhere
     and it will be seeping out anywhere

and every time that it comes up
           – it is likely that there will be conflicts….
   the shadow is only harmful if it repressed
and then we project it out and act it out unconsciously
     when we free it, when we integrate these parts,
we have our choice if and when to utilise these potentials in ourselves
..................................
  it is said that the jewish people were the shadows of the nazi’s,
with the successful artistic talents of so many jewish people……
    gaining the jealousy of so many people
                          jealous of what is their light shadow,
jealous of a quality that is in themselves
                        as they projected it onto others……
   but did not accept it as themselves
...........................
 and the feminine has been the shadow for some too...
the masculine has done so much good, technology advancements
  but though the repression of the feminine,
the connectedness to the earth and others
has caused so many problems
 so many of us have pushed it down to our black bags...
 pushed it deep into the underworld of our sub-conscious...
.............................................
   and  
  if we are hiding
      we are masquerading
as well as projecting
 then we have no freedom to be
         and no freedom to choose
..................
the shadow holds the secret of change – the essence of who we are
       the treasured parts of ourselves
........................
 if we embrace all and have the freedom to choose
let’s empty our bag so we can reclaim our lives
 we can make peace with shadow
   and the feelings we have repressed can be integrated into ourself
 we can regain our self confidence
  we can realise that we have many qualities in ourselves
we can be free to be ourselves
 ................

 and this has changed what i say as a parent (often anyway)
rather than just repeat the same phrases i had as a kid,
  as parents before them did,
and this can pass thru generations...
as a parent, i try to say (lets take the example of loudness'
   'it's great that you can be so loud,
  but there are times to be 'loud' and times to not be loud,
    i feel that this is a time to not be loud, to be calm and quiet'

 tho i may not always remember it, it is becoming more automatic,
   as time goes on...
 and i've explained the theories of this work,
 and say things like
 'well everyone is stupid, and everyone is clever'
and sometimes we talk about the personas qualities roles
 and play with them...
 'now i'm being loud role
  now you're being quiet role
 now i'm being angry role
 now i'm being happy role
 and this usually resorts to
 'now i'm being toilet roll'
'now i'm being forward roll'
but playing is a key
 if we accept and integrate
we can so much more easily dance in and out of these roles
 depending on which each situation calls for

it's a learning process,
 tho one that i'm already finding so valuable for learning...
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