ways of integrating the parts we find…..
there are various ways of integrating these parts of us…
…these ways can assist us find the gifts that these parts can bring us….
..they can assist us be more understanding of these parts of us we tried to hide….
…and to bring them back into us, as our whole…as part of our potential.
..that we can consciously choose
to use or not to use
at any given moment…
…so that with the integration of these parts back to us again, they can be part of our resources of our potential again,
maybe we will never use these parts of us again, but they are still there, as an accepted part of our potential….
but if a situation does call for us to use the gifts that this part can bring, we can do so, consciously…
…and this can give us more of a choice of how to react and when.
and then we don’t need to waste our energy,
…….from hiding them away in our shadow places….
then they are much less like to pop out unexpectedly, when we ‘lose control’
(debbie ford compares this to holding a beach ball under water…
it takes a lot of effort, and before long it pops out….)
so rather than popping out when it’s not beneficial to a situation…
…instead, as an integrated, accepted part of ourselves they can be worked with at times if ever the quality of this part is beneficial to a situation….
and accepting and integrating the shadow also means that we do not having to project that part onto others, just so we can recognise that part of us we have tried to hide…
…this frees others up to be themselves…no longer our projection screen,
and so we may notice behaviours (as well as interpretations of behaviours) of others also shift after doing our mirror shadow work…some seem to stop doing whatever it was that pressed our buttons before…
..or if the same person does behave that way again, we can find that that behaviour no longer triggers the same emotional response that it did, assisting the resolving of situations in a beneficial way…
….so this is one of the ways, a major way i’d say, of our work of working the work of the ‘winds of the west’ of having ‘no enemies within or without’…. if we can take responsibility and do our mirror shadow work, our ‘enemies’that were doing so, no longer have to be our projection screen which made them seem like enemies to us….freeing ourselves as well as themselves.
…this work to integrate these parts as part of as part of our potential, can also make us more understanding of the actions of others if they dance into the roles, potentials of our being that we have integrated….
…that doesn’t mean we allow others to do something to us that we do not wish them to do to us….
….but we can be more of understanding of why they act this way, even have some love for that part…
often even knowing that, when used at a different time, this quality…could actually be beneficial.
and, this is important work too i feel, for those who feel that ‘we are all one’, as if we are all one, then those whose behaviour we may judge to be unacceptable or degenerate or similar, are also us too….
even knowing all this, knowing that there are beautiful gifts to be found in the most shadowest of shadows, knowing the wonderful freeing feeling, and the feeling more energised too…
…there can be resistance, i’ve found, in taking the time to do these processes…there was a reason why we hid these parts after all (as suggested in the shadow work page).
however, it does not take long to integrate a piece, and just simply taking the time to do so anyway, can quickly assist us realise that, rather than to trying to hide it away and deny this potential in ourselves…there are many more benefits to working with and integrating the shadow piece…
sometimes it is as quick as recognising that we have the part in ourselves too, and realising that in certain situations that part of us can be an asset, and beneficial to the situation, and appreciating it’s gifts.
other times, well, most, maybe all times for me, integrating the shadow takes a few more minutes than that..
…not many more to be fair though… the process it still relatively quick, especially considering the long term benefit it can have.
…and if all this sounds so serious, it’s worth remembering, i feel, we don’t have to take this work too seriously, we can play with it. this can be a joyous fun exercise…it’s a bringing back into our whole part of us… a beautiful gift of a quality of ourselves when it is worked with in a conscious, beneficial way….
zen monks are said to do this with lightheartedness by:
“playfully acting out that role, trait, behaviour by showing it…in daylight, somehow they bring it out of the world of shadow, and into the world of play” (bly)
two examples of exercises include:
while i began with the first exercise, and worked with many that way, the second exercise, the stepping in to the role is particularly useful i find, working with the body as well as the mind and soul for that self-healing, that self-integrating.
supporting these,there are also other examples of ways to assist the integrating of these mirror shadow parts:
additional variety of integrating shadow pieces exercises