marshall b. rosenberg

marshall b. rosenberg quotes …. from the book ‘non violent communication’. the whole book, and training is ideal, but here are some tasters…

“if someone arrives late for an appointment and we need reassurance that she cares about us, we may feel hurt. if instead, our need is to spend time purposively and constructively, we mat fee; frustrated. but if our need is for 30 minutes of quiet solitude, we may be greatful for her tardiness and feel pleased. thus it is not the behaviour of the other person but our own need that causes our feeling.”
(rosenberg ‘non violent communication’)

‘anger indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyze and judge somebody rather than focus on which of our needs are not being met’  (rosenberg ‘non violent communication’)

‘when we choose this…option…we are not repressing the anger, we see how anger is simply absent in each moment that we are fully present with the other person’s feeling and needs’

‘to fully express anger requires full consciousness……we now open our mouth and speak the anger- but the anger has been transformed into needs and need-connected feelings’

‘the ability to hear our own feelings and needs and empathise with them can free us from depression’

saying thank you in nvc: ‘this is what you did; this is what i feel; this is the need of mine that was met’

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