To be successful

What is to be successful?
Perhaps it is:

To live the life given to us 
In ways how life can manifest through us
To find out who we are, how we think and feel, what makes us happy or sad, what we need to improve about ourselves,
To learn, to grow through experiences, so we can say
I am who I am and know what that means
To take personal responsibility, to think for yourself, to work things out to accept that sometimes we are right, sometimes we are wrong,
To believe in yourself and have faith in your ability,
To be who you are
To be who you were born to be.

Found in old notebooks of personal and note writing, some years ago.

Equinox Ceremony – Balancing the releasing and receiving

Equinox Ceremony Recipe Framework

Opening Sacred Space.

Creating a framework with sticks, a circle with a line of sticks through the middle. Like the earth in the balance between two solstices.

Blowing into nature objects, informing them with our breath and intention and placing them in the circle on the earth.
In one half of the circle (in the direction of the setting sun), putting in anything to release, and that had been released in recent months, honouring these.
In the other half (in the direction of the rising sun) putting in wishes for the next part of the cycle towards solstice, and also the gifts that we had received with all that we had released.
So on one side, keeping the gifts, and the other side, letting the stories go of how we found this gifts.

Then meditating,  looking at what has been co-created from different perspectives. The literal, the senses, the symbolic..,

Walking anticlockwise around the circle a few times, meditating on the release of the old, allowing it to go.
Coming into stillness, then picking up those nature materials in the setting sun side of the circle and giving them into the flowing water of a stream (can also give to other water, fire, earth or air) .

Walking clockwise, into those wishes and gifts, feeling us walking into these, walking these. Noticing what words and feelings come.
Coming into stillness, bringing this to a journey statement, an affirmation from experience within. For example ‘I am…. and I feel’.

Then releasing the rest of the circle and the framework to the water so they too can flow.

Coming back together to the ‘I am….and I feel’ statements that came. Feeling that feeling. If in a group, each can speak in turn and the others mirror these statements to eachother.

Thanking sacred space.

In appreciation for the #land in #Bersham #Cymru who shared with me this.
This ceremony can be done anytime, lovely to do at the equinox where the earth too is finding that balance.


Picture: Some of the equinox blessings from Equinox Ceremony, Bersham, Cymru 2018.

mindfulness in actions

choosing which books to let go of

I have some reminders as i read through

it’s great to notice the triggers so we can clear them

but when triggered and still working out what they are

how to deal with them

how to observe them

how to notice what they are

and have some heartfullness in actions and communications 

can include
when triggered

before splatting over others

taking a moment 

to connect

to connect with self

to connect with the body

what is it feeling?

what is it speaking

to you?
taking some time 

to connect with our heart 

with our breathing

to connect with our feelings 

what are your feelings?
to connect with our intentions

what are your intentions when you go to speak now?
to connect with your needs

what do you need in this moment?

can we step into a no fault zone?

seeing everyone has their reasons ?
can we step into that place of abundance

where there is a win-win?
if involving another

can we see what their feelings are?

what are their intentions?

what are their needs?
can we observe

and state our observations

free from judgement?
can we express ourselves this way?
when we see a behaviour – what is it that triggers? what are the fears? what are the assumptions?

are they true?

what does that say about you?

what do you do? what does is it remind you of?

what can you own?
and how can you be now?
inspired by (and for more info and techniques can read) respectful parents, respectful kids by hart and hooson, nvc by rosenberg, what to do when kids push your buttons and more)

you do it to yourself?

‘you do it to yourself, you do’

well… if we are
‘all one’
{as current (and some ancient) theories and experiences suggest }
does it follow that
that is happening to us
right now
in our worlds –
are doing it to ourselves?

we may point the finger at others
but if we are all one
those others
are us too?

why we are doing this to ourselves
what we can do to change this
and how much of this we can change
are more questions

as i released myself
from at least some of my holding myself back
some of my self-restrictions
some of my self-obstructions
from my being my ‘healed’ me
i saw images
of releasing back generations
those holds
of self-constrictions
freeing myself in that now
and ‘myself’ then
as i let them go

and releasing this image too
as i step into the new
states and ways of being

as i step further in the journey
to self-discovery, self-empowerment,
connection to self, the earth and others
and other true gems
like many of us seem to be travelling
as we learn and grow
as we dig into and seeds in our soul sow
as we connect to our physical
as we fly with the energetic
as we play with our minds
as we explore and work with our environments

and the journey
all this travelling
gives gifts
maybe at least as much as the destination will

and every step is a destination
just as every step is a journey
and a new beginning

and that feeling
that experiencing
that somehow
though we are individuals co-creating our reality
we are also all one creating our reality
that we do it to ourselves
that ‘they’ doing ‘that’ to us
are us…
(doing it to themselves)
i’m not sure why
this part-taking of self-responsibility
for me
gives some reassuring quality
some comfort
some empowering
‘i made this’
‘i did this’

i guess it brings with it the opportunity
to step back and look at the situation maybe a little more objectively
the chance of a possibility
of some understanding
of asking
‘why is that part of me doing this right now’
that connection
perhaps enhancing the ability
for that question to be answered in some way

maybe this self-responsibiity
can give some kind of reason
for it happening
why else would i/us create this to happen this way?

and even more possibiility
for it changing
if we created it in the first place
however short or long time ago
then we surely can create something else in its place
we can create more than what we currently know
(and do regularly 😉 )

that it
it is
‘all us’
‘it’s all me’

and this brings with it many more wishes for self-healing
surely there is no need now for suffering…
we can and do also learn from inner peace and harmony living?
this brings with this more wishes for learning, growing, evolving
to who we are becoming many years from now
and bringing this into the now
and harmony seems to be coming more and more in so many places anyhow

much appreciation for all the lessons
for all those who are
‘another part of me’

i am another part of you

how can i feel fulfilled now? …. what can i do in order to feel fulfilled now?

(photo: ‘catching rainbows’ by creuynni )

so much of this inner personal work…
this accessing our inner wisdom….our beautiful…deep worlds of inner wisdom…
this connection
this reception…receptivity..this listening and finding answers…
comes and can come from asking questions…
and listening for those answers…
…answers from within…
….and from the worlds…the universe…around us…

and the questions i am with today are based on root needs….
….and routes to fufil these root needs

and these questions….they are….it is:

how can i feel fulfilled now?
what can i do to feel fulfilled now?

and now…..?
and now?

how many ways can we fufil ourselves?

what ways can we choose to do so?

which ways can we choose to do so?

which ways of feeling self-fufilled are most beneficial to ourselves, our inner worlds…and our worlds around us?

what can i do today to feel self-fufilled that is beneficial to myself, my inner world and/or the world around me?

and there are so many answers….
so many routes i can take
to meet this root feeling….
this root wish…
may i choose these beneficial ways…
and act on these root feelings of needs
with munay, with love, with ease and grace, with tangnefedd…with inner peace….harmony and well being

much love ~ caru

(with much appreciation for jamie catto’s shadow workshop in chester today that assisted the triggering of this particular question to add to the fold 😉 )

letting go of old stories….


….as many of us drop our old stories…
…our old ways of being…
…of behaving…

so that we can step into the new…
new consciously co-created tales, adventures…
of our conscious and perhaps joyful making…

can we also drop
the stories we have about other people…
so our energy isn’t caught up in their old stories too…

…including those who are still with us…and those who have already transitioned….

like be-elzebub
to take one example
whose stories surrounding him inspired this post
say he did exist…
that he existed…
and that stories were built up around him,
up and around,
and built up around him…
making a mould around him….
so detailed that the stories have a  life of their own….
how useful is it
to keep perpetuating that story…
that interpretation… that projection…
that mud of seeing clearly as mud about another
that judgement…that affrontation….
it’s not beneficial to you
it’s not beneficial to me
if it is in our awareness
then surely it is in
our energy

how about we  let him step away…
start creating his new story…….
each moment a new moment where new can be created






and who elses story have you built up for them…
around them…
splatted that mud of your projections, objections, connections, subjections around them…
can you also let those go?
those stories you have surrounding your mum? your brothers? your sisters? your friends from school?
the politician? the celebrity?
the father? the grandparent?
that person down the road?
your partner?
the woman who forgot your name?
the man who asked you if you’d like to go for a drink?
the lady that pushed in front of you in the queue?
the boy that forgot you?

can you let the story you have built up around them go?
rather than enclosing them in a mud-slung fest over that other person…
that could rebound onto us…
and perpetuate us participating in that old story….
can you allow them to be free….
can you allow yourself to be free?
with this?

and if so? with how many people can we do this with?
this letting go…. of judgement….of story…..
this no longer holding them as something….
this letting go ….to give and receive freeing…..
evolving, learning….being….anew…
taking them as they are now
in each moment…
(if we choose to have them in our moments)
or letting them be free
away from us
(if we choose to not have them in our moments…)

and in each moment
as we drop the old stories…
of ourselves…
of others…

what new can we co-create?
what new can we create?

what do you choose now?

and now?

and how about now? x

much love. llawer o munay x efo caru x


coming from a land called love…

if we come from a place of love

day by day, night by night,
we continue to come from a place of love

where would that be?
where would we be?
how would we act?
what would be create
how would we behave?
what would we say?
how would we feel?
being love?
if ‘they’
being love
would they act that way?

how would they act?
what would they create
how would they behave?
what would they say?
how would they feel?

and how much of this coming from a place of love
do we wish to bring in
to this lagoon of the possibilities
that are our lives here…
of the what is possible
with this being love

and peace

and love

and homework

my homework is
more and more
to be coming from love

to notice where and when i am coming from love
and where i can come from love

asking myself at times
what would love do now? in this situation?
and sometimes
where i feel i can….
where i feel ready…
where i manage it…
going with
this what love would do now…
in this situation…
this sometimes
maybe increasing it to moretimes
and more and more so

being love


i loves it 😉


Why don’t I call myself a healer?

photo by meirion wynn roberts

Doing this kind of work that i talk about on this site…
some call us ‘healers’
Applying for this work at festival is often with a ‘healers application’
I still do that
I will go in the healers tickbox if needed as such.
I don’t really call myself a ‘healer’ as such

to me,
when working with others in their sessions/workshops/training
I’m not the one doing the healing…
the individual or group and the work that are doing that part of the work…
And that which I’ve seen occur when i work with others in their healing….
feels very much to me…
that’s them healing themselves…

So technically i’m not doing any healing
I’m just assisting
Assisting with authenticity, integrity, non-judgement and listening
I hold space, I work to assist with tools from the toolbox of techniques, processes, experiences…in my field I hold that awareness of potential of transformation evolution, conscious change…
Can this really be classed as healing?
Really, I’m just assisting…

Assisting this accessing connection to inner wisdom and abilities to self-heal,
and to find those healing pieces…to step into our empowerment with our gifts – our treasures
and at the level of the body…encourage homeostasis where it can more easily heal itself….

Even those that do that
laying on of hands
to me
they’re just awakening and assisting
that self-healing ability
within that individual being worked with
and it’s that individual allowing that ‘healing’, flowing energy to come in….

what is it they say
‘you can lead a horse to water
but you can’t make it drink’?
With the work,
It’s the individual themselves has to choose to drink….to work with these techniques…if they choose….
no need of belief…
merely to allow it to happen….

with much appreciation to all those that have assisted this work develop…
how can those of us that work in this field be accurately called a ‘healer’
when it could be said that we are just part of a space
where the work….and the individual themselves…
are doing the healing where it occurs…

and me too,
I’ve been working hard on healing myself…
with a lot of assistance from others along the way…
but its up to me to do it…

Wait one moment?

Does that mean
I could be classed as a healer?
(of myself)
at so many times
like the complexity and beauty of
mending the skin from a cut,
recovering from a cold….
this is us healing ourselves then?

and the list goes on….
of the amount we heal ourselves from….
and the amount we can heal ourselves from….

does that mean
that all of us…
are healers too….
(of ourselves)

Not sure where that leaves the healers label…

teasing aside…
a message to all you healers out there (which is all of us, which is you reading this)
With this self-healing…
there is extra assistance can be had on the way.
From those trained and experienced in this field….
who can potentially
‘put some lights to help find your way’ (as one lovely put it)
(your way)
as you do it yourself.
you amazing bundle of wisdom, experience and self-healing capacity you.

10169366_236320726491579_769122553578440879_n fb

(top photo that the quote ‘ do not bestow grace….’ is a photo in north cymru by meirion wynn roberts, the quote is by don jicaram, the quote in the photo above this is from the path of the energetic mystic, picture by Creuynni).

does duality really exist?


…many of us at least

are brought up to believe that there is duality

night and day

….masculine and feminine

good and bad



….does this duality really exist?



what we call
masculine and feminine
between night and day
,,,,between light and dark
between ‘good’ and ‘bad’…

there is so much inbetween….

so much even,,,

is it more accurate to call these actually a spectrum?

just because there can be identified two extremes of this spectrum
is that really a duality?
is it that it is more of a part of an even greater whole?

wouldn’t calling these extremes ‘duality’, be dismissing the richness  and also-valuableness of all inbetween?

even the apparent ‘male’ and ‘female’ has a number of inbetween areas….a spectrum range…
‘what we call ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ even more so….
even physical, mind, soul and energetic field…while can be viewed separately are all (it appears) part of a range of an energy spectrum…with the physical being energy that is vibrating at certain rates…all energy….

so even those that appear separate…perhaps they are not so separate after all..
but connected within that spectrum range…

duality does not really exist…and what is perceived as duality…is actually just part of one spectrum…….

perhaps 😉

energy-core-spectrum-wallpaper-1024x576(pic: Erik Bernskiold)


sharing our gifts ~ air haywarikuy


sharing our gifts air haywarikuy

happy (belated) beltaine 🙂

beltaine is a beautiful time 🙂 to me, a time of celebrating creativity, life. in cymru leaves are growing from seeds planted, blossoms appearing on many trees and the first beginnings of many fruits appearing.

this air haywarikuy was co-created to offer to our worlds around us our creative gifts….a way of putting forward the offer of our gifts that we wish to share….to say ‘I’m up for offering this’…and inviting in opportunities to share these gifts with those that wish to receive them…to those we feel happy to share them with…..
we did this with the creativity celebrations of beltaine…the growing first leaves of the seeds planted, the flowers and blossoms…the fruits beginning to form….it can be done anytime however…and can be adapted, especially by following your heart….this is a framework…to move around within and around if choose….and can also be a springboard to spring into something new….

you may like to do this next to a fire, particularly if working this at beltaine….it can also be created other places outdoors and indoors too…
the offers, wishes, intentions and appreciations can be done silently and/or out loud…however is felt to do…


petals (lots to pick up from the floor and shaken from the blossoming trees in spring),
leaves (any kind, but particularly smaller, lighter ones)
seeds (any kind, but particularly smaller lighter ones)

a piece of cloth, a good size for you/your group…


beginning with opening sacred space….

beginning with a layer of k’intus
(we used ‘ready made k’intus’ – the ‘all one-ness’ of 3 leaved clovers for this, but any combination of 3 leaves are great ;).
…in these we blew in (with our breath informing the leaves) our intention for this haywarikuy…. to offer our gifts to the worlds around us….  then placing them on the cloth….this is like a basket holding our dreams and wishes for this haywarikuy….

then a layer for the annwfn…our inner worlds…the world of our subconscious….the worlds of our inner selves….
blowing into petals, light leaves and seeds etc….our offers of the gifts we wish to share/continue sharing from our inner world…our innerselves….  and for our inner world…our innerselves….

then a layer for what some call the ‘kay pacha’ ‘middle world’….the physical reality around us…. and blowing into these light nature materials our offers of the gifts we wish to share/continue sharing in this world…. these can be practical skills, they can be abstract parts of ourselves…they can be abilities…abilities that we have, and abilities we wish to continue developing….however you feel….
then a layer for our ‘hanan pacha’, what some call the ‘upper world’…that world beyond time….of the energetic… connected to our futures…to  who we are becoming…and also timeless… connected to our ‘divine’ selves….tho what some call ‘divinity’ i feel, can be found in all worlds… the worlds they say of imagination and inspiration….
… this layer… blowing in our offers of the gifts we wish to share/continue sharing for our upper worlds…. and from our upper worlds…..

a layer then, if choose to do so, of appreciation of the gifts we have within us.
if in a group, particularly one familiar with each other, one by one, each individual can blow in appreciation of the gifts they have into a chosen light nature material, then pass it round the circle for others in the group to blow in the gifts that they love and appreciate about that person.

{while what we see in others can be just a projection of our inner selves….and what we say about others may be ourselves….the person who we are appreciating the gifts of can choose whether to accept these as themselves…. if it is said out loud and the individual being appreciated feels a ‘glow’ or feel recognition of self….it is suggested that that is an indication that it is themselves too 😉 } x

then a kintu (again we used a kintu of three leaves that were joined together already…from a tree) blowing in appreciation of the gifts of the world around us….and passing that around the circle…

when ready….taking a moment to see the haywarikuy as it is….
maybe looking at it from the physical level….the arrangement of petals, leaves and seeds….
then the level of story, emotions….the stories around those petals leaves and seeds….
and the level of  ‘hummingbird’, of the symbolic…of the epic adventure that this haywarikuy represents/is part of…
and the level of the energetic….where everything is energy J

then when ready folding the cloth into a parcel, which then can be brought from head to toe over the body (front and back, left and right sides), infusing the energy field with these beautiful wishes and offers and intentions and gifts…. if in a group this can be done clockwise in a circle, each person doing this for the person next to them.

before gently unwrapping the haywarikuy on the ground….
in a group this is easier…but also possible for an individual to do themselves J
in a group…everyone holds the edge of the cloth…kinda like a parachute…kinda like grabbing the hands and legs of someone whose birthday it is before throwing them into the air…
and then when ready….bringing the cloth quickly up….so the contents are given into the air…. 🙂
enjoyment of any petals, light leaves like confetti that come back to earth and over you kinda like confetti after being given to air is also optional 😉

much love ~ muchos munay ~ cariad mawr 🙂

diolch i ti am dy anrhegion di…. thank you for the gifts you bring to this world…